forever changed

i'll never forget that first day of studio.
'what is architecture? what is space? why have you entered this profession?'

the question seemed easy enough...but i was at a loss. every answer i could come up with didn't seem enough. i knew there was more than i understood. i was at the beginning of something. everything i thought about architecture was thrown out the window that day. whatever i knew it entailed or believed it to be needed to be tested, processed, redefined... i had to choose for myself what i believed architecture to be and role i would play in it.

five and a half years later, i look back on that day and smile. i really had no idea what i was getting into. i had no clue where my path would take me or the people to which it would lead. if you would have told me how difficult the journey would be or how many times i would want to give up, i'd have quit that day. i look back now, thankful i didn't know and thankful i didn't quit. i see the world through the eyes of a designer, as one responsible for the built environment and the affect space has on life.
i'll never be the same; i'll never shake this passion.
it will evolve. it will grow.
i think now i have more questions and less answers.
i will add to them new truths as new understandings are made.
but i am changed.

i'll never forget the day i picked up my cross for the first time.
'who is God? what is faith? why have you chosen to follow Me?'

i believed. i knew all the stories. i could give you all the sunday school answers. but something changed that february. i died that day to myself, i stood at the foot of the cross broken and overwhelmed by the fact that i could never be enough. He is bigger than i could ever fathom and deeper that i could begin to imagine. no matter how hard i try, no matter how good i am, i could not meet His standard.to Him, there is no such thing as religion, just truth. He is perfect and i am not. everything i thought God to be was thrown out the window that day. whatever i knew He entailed or believed life was like needed to be tested, processed, redefined... i had to choose for myself what i believed and i would do with that belief.

i look back now eleven years later and smile. i really had no idea what i was getting into. i had no clue where my path would take me or the people to which it would lead. if you would have told me how difficult the journey would be or how many times i would want to give up, i may never have chosen Him that day. i look back now, thankful i didn't know and thankful i made the choice. i see the world through the eyes of my Father, as one responsible for bringing Him glory and offering hope to a searching world.
i'll never be the same; i'll never shake this passion.
it will evolve. it will grown.
i think now i have more questions and less answers.
i will add to them new truths as new understandings are made.
but i am forever changed.
He has forever changed me.

blessings to you on this easter day.