until then...

it was my second day in the hospital. i had already eaten my roll and black coffee for breakfast and it wasn't yet 7 o'clock. though i had done nothing but lay in my bed for the past 36 hours, i was craving a shower. i wanted to feel clean. slight problem, i didn't know where it was and i didn't know how to ask. i must have missed this lesson in my czech language class. i played charades with my nurse, trying to mimic washing my hair, but to no avail. she either didn't understand or forgot. i lay there defeated.

i had two roommates, both elderly czech women. i have a feeling they weren't friends before their stay at the uva praha, but they had quickly bonded. they began their morning getting each other ready for their day in bed. they combed the other's hair and helped one another dress despite their eye and hand bandages. one of the women had made extra efforts to try to speak to me and i attempted back to her. we each spoke our native tongue, hoping the other would understand. but at the end, all we could do is smile.

half-way through the morning, she came to my bed. she pointed to my shampoo and motioned to me to follow her. ah success. she had understood my acting efforts. after spending my entire day laying horizontally, vertical movement was extremely painful, so i very slowly moved behind her. she lead me down the hall to a bathroom with a shower stall. “dekuji, dekuji" [thank you, thank you] i told her. she smiled. then she motioning me to removed my clothes. being a modest person, i hesitated. i looked back at her, realizing i couldn't argue, i couldn't protest. i had to comply. i took off my shirt and carefully slid my shorts around my white bandages.

she had gone ahead and i eased onto the chair she had set up in the shower, resting my feet on the other just outside the shower's door. what happened next, forever changed my life. rather than leave me to shower on my own, in a moment of complete humility, she removed her nightgown and stepped into the shower with me. she sensitively warmed the water until it was just right and began to bathe me. she lathered my hair. she rinsed my body. if for only a brief time, God had slipped her arthritic hands on as gloves, her wrinkled face on as a mask, and served me in the most delicate way that He could. i have never known love so innocent and unconditional. this woman knew nothing of me. she knew not my past nor my future, my goals nor dreams. she didn't know what had happened to me nor where i would go next. i was a burn patient in a foreign hospital, my family half way across the globe and but a hand full of friends to keep me company. there is no time in my life i should have felt more scared, more abandoned, more alone. but i was never frightened. i never felt forsaken. in our vulnerability and in our nakedness, i felt i was in my Father's hands. i saw peace. i knew love.

with this, i leave you. a break from the blogging world. a new command to be still. though i know not for how long. i will be back, on this you have my word. until then, may you hunger for Truth and find it in Him.