stability in the routine
i used to be scared of routines; thought i would find myself trapped in one and find no way to get out the monotony. if i ever find myself in a state of complacency and resistant to change, i think the routine should be the first thing to go. but for now, i find it comfortable. my daily schedule used to be so random, getting up at 5am for work at quick cats, coming home at 5am from studio. work out clothes one day and dress shirts the next. walk to class, ride my bike, get a parking ticket because i was lazy and drove. my process of getting ready for the day never seemed to be the same.
today, however, it's become more consistent. though sometimes i hit snooze two times instead of one, i have found reliability in my daily routine. rejuvenating my curls gets my attention first, followed by make-up, and the arduous clothes selecting, usually proceeded by a session of ironing. i always eat a yogurt with kashi on my drive in to a job i truly do love and enjoy being alone in the quietness without the radio. being a morning person, i look forward to the calm i find in the office for an hour before anyone else drags themselves through the door. i know i can only have one and half cups of coffee before my stomach starts to revolt. it growls at ten thirty and i put it on hold a couple more hours. the mornings fly by every day, but the afternoons seemed to be slowed seventy-five percent of the normal speed. i used to be startled by the trains running by our office, but now they have become the background in the soundtrack of my day.
i smile every time nancy walks by my desk as she makes some kind of comment and i can count on randy to recite the same julia morgan quote to me at least twice a month. kyle daily laughs at the random things i blurt out during the day, and i have a paper/rock/scissors battle with john every monday afternoon to decide who will pick up bagels for tuesday's staff meeting. i love the people i work with.
if i am lucky enough to get out of the office at 5:30 it takes me twenty-two minutes to get home as opposed to fourteen i usually find an hour later. the only good part of the drive home is that the time is now mine. as i fly by at 67mph, i watch the cars move around me as the suburbia america scenery barely changes. landmarks along the way remind me of many of people and prompt me to pray. i look for the familiar black car at wal-mart and pray God would bring direction to the man who drives it and boldness for another friend as i pass vegas video. i note the gas price as i exit the freeway and wonder how much longer i can play chicken with my gas gage until i succumb to the pump. i know exactly where to change lanes to avoid being stuck behind traffic at the grocery store and that i quickly need to prepare an answer for my nightly "how was your day?" question from my mother.
i covet my evenings and the freedom i find away from a desk. usually by the end of my day in the office, my legs ache from the lack of movement and beg me to take them for a run at the park. by the time the sun is setting, my mind, as well as my body, need time to unwind and process the events of the day. i've become pretty selfish with this hour of mine in the evenings and often find myself putting off other things and people to satisfy this emotional and physical desire.
my bedtime is much earlier than it ever was in college, but i appreciate the consistency to this sleep schedule. i lay down with a few pages from a good book only to give in to my nodding urges. i often think to myself, "all i have to do for the next six hours is lay here," but also know i never fully appreciate that thought. i wake up the next morning only to do it all again, but i don't mind, at least not right now. so much has changed around me the last few months, it's good to have some realm of consistentcy in life. i find stability in my schedule during a time that seems to be filled with so many uncertainties.
today, however, it's become more consistent. though sometimes i hit snooze two times instead of one, i have found reliability in my daily routine. rejuvenating my curls gets my attention first, followed by make-up, and the arduous clothes selecting, usually proceeded by a session of ironing. i always eat a yogurt with kashi on my drive in to a job i truly do love and enjoy being alone in the quietness without the radio. being a morning person, i look forward to the calm i find in the office for an hour before anyone else drags themselves through the door. i know i can only have one and half cups of coffee before my stomach starts to revolt. it growls at ten thirty and i put it on hold a couple more hours. the mornings fly by every day, but the afternoons seemed to be slowed seventy-five percent of the normal speed. i used to be startled by the trains running by our office, but now they have become the background in the soundtrack of my day.
i smile every time nancy walks by my desk as she makes some kind of comment and i can count on randy to recite the same julia morgan quote to me at least twice a month. kyle daily laughs at the random things i blurt out during the day, and i have a paper/rock/scissors battle with john every monday afternoon to decide who will pick up bagels for tuesday's staff meeting. i love the people i work with.
if i am lucky enough to get out of the office at 5:30 it takes me twenty-two minutes to get home as opposed to fourteen i usually find an hour later. the only good part of the drive home is that the time is now mine. as i fly by at 67mph, i watch the cars move around me as the suburbia america scenery barely changes. landmarks along the way remind me of many of people and prompt me to pray. i look for the familiar black car at wal-mart and pray God would bring direction to the man who drives it and boldness for another friend as i pass vegas video. i note the gas price as i exit the freeway and wonder how much longer i can play chicken with my gas gage until i succumb to the pump. i know exactly where to change lanes to avoid being stuck behind traffic at the grocery store and that i quickly need to prepare an answer for my nightly "how was your day?" question from my mother.
i covet my evenings and the freedom i find away from a desk. usually by the end of my day in the office, my legs ache from the lack of movement and beg me to take them for a run at the park. by the time the sun is setting, my mind, as well as my body, need time to unwind and process the events of the day. i've become pretty selfish with this hour of mine in the evenings and often find myself putting off other things and people to satisfy this emotional and physical desire.
my bedtime is much earlier than it ever was in college, but i appreciate the consistency to this sleep schedule. i lay down with a few pages from a good book only to give in to my nodding urges. i often think to myself, "all i have to do for the next six hours is lay here," but also know i never fully appreciate that thought. i wake up the next morning only to do it all again, but i don't mind, at least not right now. so much has changed around me the last few months, it's good to have some realm of consistentcy in life. i find stability in my schedule during a time that seems to be filled with so many uncertainties.
posted by jill m at 7:57 PM
2 Comments:
Jill you have done it again. You have completely captured my attention and put into words feelings that I wouldn't know were to start describing. You know this whole life we live now is very overwhelming in its own way. A new kind of stress has been introduced into our lives, the kind that makes us realize our decisions no longer effect us and|or only a few people around us but lots of people and co-workers. I think it is absolutely crucial to the servival of our physical and mental health to be able to take a step back and think to ourselves, what is really important in my life. If we focus too much on the stress we will very easily forget what this life is all about. It's not about the food we eat (as long as we get enough) it's not about the clothes we wear or the magezines we read or want to someday be in. It's about true happines, loveing friends, being loved by friends, treating your family like the family they are, and feeling the beauty God gave us to live in. I think you capture that in you entries and I love it. Here is to you sense of beauty my friend Jill. I hope to see you soon...I am sorry I have kind of turned this comment into my own little blog.
i love that you left your own blog on mine and that you always leave me comments! be ready for lots of reflecting|enjoying|living on brad's wedding weekend!
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